Goodbye Cruel Corporate World!

Sunday, 25 July 2010

You know those goodbye emails that people send when leaving a company? Well, this one was mine when I left the cosmetic corporate world for good...

Subject: Thank you and then some

Dear Colleagues,

My last day today here at *bip* - no wise words from the departing, just a big thank you to everyone especially to the "French Cleavage Club"* without whose help I will be leaving empty-handed.

Before I leave, there are just some things I want to get off my chest-
  • Colleague who lost his wife's anniversary present bracelet, I have a bracelet exactly like that you have lost. Price is 1000€.
  • Ms. Office Manager, I confess to pouring coffee on the company plants. But it was an accident- both times.
  • Ms. Receptionist, I am guilty of the loss of some of the office cutlery. I accidentally threw them into the garbage and it was too icky to fish out. To make up for it, I propose to take the cute lunch delivery boy out to lunch.
There has been a lot of rumours what I would be doing after this company. Here are just some of them:
- that I will be joining the Pussycat Dolls, whose lead singer is rumoured to be pregnant
- that i will be founding my own religion called "Rowenaism"
- that I will join this company's arch nemesis and am getting paid twice my salary here
- that I will settle down with my 20 year junior boyfriend, and bake cupcakes for a living
- that I will be creating my own cosmetic company, called R'├┤weal
Well, you just would have to watch this space and google my name in 6 months time to find out.

In the meantime, since this is a time for honesty, I wish I could say I will miss you all, but I cannot.

Till then, I wish you to look good, have fun, earn money, - the *bip* way!

Ex-Global Priestess of Bullshit
and oh so relieved about it!

NB: Soon as I sent this email, my email addy was disconnected so I didn't receive all the fan mails afterwards.

* more on the French Cleavage Club in my next blogs